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Gerard Horan
Ned Watkins
Tim Plester
Eddie the Slaughterman
Trevor Peacock
Mr Martin
Brenda Cowling
Mrs Martin
Darren Boyd
PC 'Dusty' Springfield
Emma Pierson
Jenny West
Chris Langham
Jack
Alexei Sayle
Newspaper Editor
John Sessions
Rival Newspaper Editor
Dermot Murnaghan
Himself
